Change is in the Wind

Please excuse the cliche, but the wind happens to be lowing as I look out of my bedroom window and change is something that has been on my mind. We get comfortable sometimes in life, content.  The yoke finally fits and we’ve worn a nice smooth groove as we turn the wheel. All the things that used to bother us about our lives, sink into the background as they become the norm. And perhaps we forget ourselves. We put who we are on hold for… For what? I don’t know and it worries me. That I’ve allowed myself to sink in so comfortably. Thankfully life has a way of waking us up (as do the ones who love us most), they shake us a little, until the scales fall off our eyes and we can see clearly again. Just what it is we are doing and why we are wasting so much to do it.

Comfort is an important part of life, but it isn’t all there is to it. We forget what it means to be adventurous, to take risks. We sacrifice challenge for consistency. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m so much better than where I am. I have a fantastic mind, a fantastic education. I have friends and family who support me whatever I may do and I know Diana is right there beside me as well. Why am I wasting all of that on Borders? They don’t deserve all of the extra effort I have put in there, they’ve certainly never compensated me for any of it. Borders provides a check and a meager one at that. That’s it.  Nothing more. Yet, I have allowed myself to get completely caught up in it.

It isn’t worth it. There is so much more to this life then getting caught up in a stupid job. I’m not going to spend anymore of my energy on it. It can be better spent looking for a new job, working on getting in to graduate school and spending time with my friends and loved ones.

So this is just a notice that changes are coming. It won’t be easy to make them.  But I can do it, and my life is worth more than what I am doing with it.

We consider others crazy when they have the courage to follow their dreams. It would be a better world if all of us were a little more crazy then we are.

Work Continues?

I haven’t really done much here as you can see. I have some new menus, but if you click on them you’ll find they are empty. I guess I should crow a little here and let everyone know that I got my GRE scores back. I scored in 91 percentile in the verbal, 42 percentile in quantitative, and 88 percentile in analytical. Those are pretty good scores according to the people around me, well the quantitative one isn’t that good but I won’t be needing it for any graduate schools I might be applying to. I got my LSAT scores back but they aren’t nearly as impressive, I scored right in the middle of the pack. I’m sure the score could get me into a Law School, just not a good one. So, graduate school it is. Now I need to start applying and finding out what I want to do in Graduate School. Oh, and apply to for some jobs that are better are mine and start writing more.

Next post will be worth reading promise.

A New Home

I was getting tired of the limitations that Google’s Blogger has, so I decided to move over to WordPress which everyone seems to have nothing but good things to say about it. It also appears to be much more complicated, it is going to take some time for me to adjust to just how much I can do with all the options that are given to me.  I’ve imported all of the things from my old one and I’ll be posting a link there for people to come here.

Here is to a new era in blogging Me!

getting lazy

I’m working on good things and reviews so check this post over at Lifehack.org, great videos I’d like to watch more, if I could only manage my time better! Which by the way is my next project. I’m going to blog about it too, fascinating!

Thought you’d like to see my business card…

…Very professional!

10 things you can throw you’re money at (and won’t be wasting it).

So here it is my very first top 10 list, though I’m keeping out the pretentious “top”. Normally this is where I talk about why it’s important to give money to various things and how it helps you and helps everyone. I’m not going to do that though, because I believe in the intelligence of my readers (all 3 of you). So here are ten causes or people who won’t do something stupid with your money. If you don’t have money you can still get involved, many of them would love for you to volunteer or write some letters to your elected officials. So get off your fat ass and make a difference in the world already!

10 – The Ron Paul Campaign – This isn’t a charity, but I felt it was important enough to put here. So if you’re offended by political opinions please skip to the next. Why give to Ron Paul? Mostly because the man’s record speaks for itself. He’s the only pro-liberty man running for the office. Check out the site, if you’re interested in his take on the issues, give some money. Ron Paul is largely being ignored by the major media outlets, and it’s going to take money to get their attention. Oh and the man wants to end the “War on terror”, the “War on drugs”, and the Federal Income Tax!

9. Trickle Up – Donate money to those living off of less than one dollar a day, Trickle Up funds entrepreneurs in the third world to jump start their own businesses. Don’t want to give a hand out? Then help someone become financial independent by investing in their business plan. I’ve given to them.

8. Nature Conservancy – Is a large charity organization much like the world wildlife fund. The Conservancy uses multiple methods in their conservation efforts, from working with indigenous people to private land purchases. A great group, one I’ve given to in the past. I give every year.

7. World Wildlife Fund – Do I need to say anything about the most recognizable conservation charity in the world? They help protect endangered species and their habitat through education and legislation. You could do worse with that 3 dollars you found in your pants the other day.

6. FARM Africa – Buy a farm animal for a family in Africa. Your donations also go towards educating African farmers in sustainability and independence. So that in the future Africans won’t have to depend on the charity of other nations.

5. The Population Council – the PC focuses on reducing the spread of HIV and AIDS, understanding the dynamics of poverty culture, and educating dis-advantaged populations about improving sexual and reproductive health outcomes. If you don’t want to give to help stop AIDS, give because they’re working on lowering the global population, one which the Earth is ill prepared to support.

4. Reading is Fundamental – The oldest literacy charity in the United States. The RiF gets books and educational resources into the hands of the those who need it most. Literacy is the only way out of poverty. The love of reading and an education is a passport to any place you’d ever want to go. Help a child find the joy you have.

3. The Electronic Freedom Foundation – The EFF fights to keep our constitutional rights in this increasingly technology dependent world. The EFF fights not only to keep the internet a haven of free speech, but they’re also fighting to keep the govt. from wiretapping your cell phone. A great far sighted charity, I’ve written letters for them and called my congressional rep.

2. Child’s Play – Founded by the creators of Penny Arcade, Child’s Play is a charity that gives video games and toys to children’s hospitals in the USA, Canada, Great Britain, Australia and Egypt (?!). Started in 2003 they’ve already given over a million dollars in toys to hospitals. Their main drive is around the Christmas holiday but they accept donations year round. This is a great way to spend your charitable dollars, bringing a little joy to a ill child’s life. I give every year.

1. Your Charity – The best charity to give to is one that shares your beliefs and is fighting for them, whether that be the re-wilding of the United States or international equal rights for women. With the internet it is easier than ever to find those who share your views and to give them any type of support you can provide. Click the link, and google some causes. Do something now to change the world!

Another book finished, only dozens more to go…

So here we go another book in the vast pile of “have read”, a pile that at this point is beginning to rival Springfield’s tire pile. This one was Larry Niven’s Ringworld, a book that seems to be part of a series I’m unaware of. The book mentions all sorts of things that are never explained, which helps create a sense of place, makes it seem more real. At the same time, I don’t like it when authors drop little bits and pieces of things and then never explain them. I have a feeling if I read more of Niven’s work much of these non-sequiturs would make more sense. Also the book looks like it could have used a little more editing. There was more than one occasion where the transition didn’t work and I was left scratching my head at what in the world he was trying to say. I’d have to stop and re-read the passage more than once. This is not good as anyone who writes or reads knows, it takes the reader right out of the story, destroying all that hard earned suspension of disbelief the writer had worked so hard to create. The subject matter was fascinating though, Niven talks about numbers so large that it’s almost impossible to conceive of them. As far as I can tell as well Niven’s science is up to par as well, but then I’m not much of a science guy, so… He seems to have covered a lot of the technical difficulties though one would face building an artifact the size of the Ringworld. A fun read one I’d recommend to those interested in the hard sci-fi genre.

I miss my Grandfather…

…A man I never really knew. His name was Glen Howard, I can’t tell you when he was born and I can’t tell you if it was 1, 2, or 3 years since he passed away. All I knew about him I was told to me by my own father, whose moods were often fickle; reminiscing about grandpa was apt to put him in a black mood. Or I gleaned it from observation and the uncomfortable conversations he had with my father when we visited on holidays. Grandpa was born and raised in the Gila Valley in Arizona it is also where he died. He never forgave the Japanese. He was in the Navy. He married my grandma. He fathered 5 children, 2 boys and 3 girls. He cheated on my grandma and married the other women. He owned a bar. He threw silver dollars off of the ship he was serving on in WWII, thinking he’d never see home again. He drove truck. He had eagles tattooed on his forearms. He collected ceramic figurines full of liquor. He was larger then life. He had diabetes. He had goats. He had 3 mongrel dogs. He hurt my father deeply. He died of cancer. He thought he’d die in the Pacific fighting the “Japs”.

This is all I know of a man whose blood runs in my veins. This is all I know the man whose life I dreamed of chronicling. But I could never find the courage to speak up or the words to say. I sat there unhinged and desperate to escape during holidays. Not wanting to feel the tension and anger, the resentment, and love, the hero worship and scapegoating all fermenting in that tiny old trailer. I was only a child begging for his father and grandfather to be the adults I wanted them to be. So that the air could clear and we could all finally breath. They never should have done that to me. We all ended up losers. My dad lost his father, my grandfather lost his son. I’m crying now thinking that they never got to know each other, perpetual strangers to each other constantly dancing through a lifetime of introductions. I don’t want this to happen to me and my dad. I want to know the man who has most influenced my life. I want to understand who he is.

I don’t want to do what he did with his father.